LDR - long distance relationships do they work?

Heya, i've been with my bf now for just under a year, prior to meeting him i had decided to move away he had also planned on moving elsewhere and he did... i suggested we both break up when he moved away (just so that he didn't feel as tho he was bound to me and in the event that he possibly found a new love interest he was available to persue it without ties?) deep down i knew it wasn't what i wanted but i was prepared if it was what he wanted. We had only been together for a short while after all. He didn't want to break up so we stayed together - it was a mutual agreement (or so i thort)... We had discussed that he'd go over, set us up and i'd move over a lil later... he contacted me as soon as he landed and we talked about how excited he was and he was saying he wished i was there with him ra ra ra that was okay... 3 days later, hes ringing me saying he wants to break up and that his feelings for me have changed and all this other stuff. I was guttered and so heart broken. Here i am thinking oh u know he really likes me we're gonna be okay and then whammo he crushes me! 5 days later i was still trying to deal with what had happened and i was trying to deal with it... He calls me and tells me he was sorry he never wanted to break up with me he was listening to what other ppl were telling him to do, he was overwhelmed by being in a new country, he hadn't walked in to a job like how he had been promised b4 he left, he was living with his brother and sis-in-law who were apparently telling him that i was basically no good for him and that i was just trying to tie him down and would eventually use him. I couldn't believe what i was hearing i mean afterall i suggested we break up because i wanted him to live his own life he didn't want to so that made me happy cos i thort we cud work thru the LDR together. He suffers from mild depression so i don't know what this may have to do with it??? No longer than 2 mths he was away and then he come home, things were rocky at the beginning he thort things were gonna go back to how they were but i had mixed feelings and didn't know his motives for coming home it was just random, i wake up to a knock on my window and he's standing there, i had to rub my eyes a few times to make sure i was awake and not dreaming... i was a lil standoffish he was crying and telling me that his moving away was the worst decision he'd ever made he said they kept treating him like a kid, kept trying to make decisions for him. When he come home i didn't know how to be around him. I wasn't sure what his intentions were so i cut contact from him untill things were less blurry for me, he no longer had his cellphone as he lost it on the plane so we ***** really talk a lot. we ended up catching up a week and half later i had had time to think and pice somethings together for me and he had had time also. We got together he asked me out on a date the previous night to which i accepted. It was so simple yet so romantic. We just went to the beach and had a picnic, it was perfect. It gave us time to really talk and we were able to do it calmly (i'm usually the hothead so okay i was able to sit and listen to his story). Needless to say we got back together and things went back to how they were before he left AWESOME. Then a month later it was my turn to leave. I had already booked my ticket but because of my job as a teacher i wanted to see the year out before making the move. Initially i was moving to him, but when we broke up i changed my plans and decided to move closer to my family. I am here now, and good things are starting to fall in to place for me. I have a good job, i have just finalised purchasing a car, i haven't managed to find me a place yet cos rentals aren't easy to get in to with out a bunch of references the size of a novel but i am staying in a place where i have my own space so things r going really well apart from the fact that my honey isn't here. I try my best to keep our communication waves open so i try to contact him as much as i can and he'll txt me. I feel as tho i make more of an effort than he does tho and this is where my question do LDR's work stem from? If i didn't contact him so much would he try to maintain the contact or it wud our relationship die a slow? He wnt txt me until later in the day. I mean today he txt me at 1.45 his time which is 10.15 my time. i wanna give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that hes just being considerate of me cos i work a nyt job and hes letting me sleep but he tells me im his 1st and last thort but txts me every day at that time of the day... Am i over-reacting? Wud the relationship last if i don't make so much of an effort?LDR - long distance relationships do they work?
Oh wow, I am exhausted after reading that haha.


Ok to clarify, he moved to another country, moved back, meanwhile you moved away from him. So he is now where you both were originally, and you are living closer to your family with every aspect of your life besides that he isnt there?


Long distance relationships really do work. People who say they don't, have not tried them with the right person. When you are mutually in love, you will do whatever it takes to be with that person, and even if long distance is what it takes, you will make it work. That is the difference between people who think it does, and does not work.


Next, I would say you are over reacting. Through the through explanation of your relationship, he has clearly shown you that he really cares for you. Shown you that he goes to you for support. Just because he doesn't text you through-out the day does not mean he isnt thinking of you, and it does not show a lack of effort. Have you spoken to him that you dont feel like he texts you enough? Some people are really into texting and the whole technology thing, and some people aren't. He may be the second.


Lastly, If you did talk to him less, he may take the initiative and start the conversations. But it sounds to me like you are the main initiator in the relationship. so you are playing your role and he is playing his rolse.


Either way, he has shown you that he loves you.

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