Please help I'm having hard time dealing with my long distance relationship.?

I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and now we have to be apart for a while due to me having to move back home to the states for a while. If everything goes well he will come and visit me for 21 days in August and then hopefully he will realizes how much he misses me and love me and would maybe want to marry me so we can be back in each other arms. That is my ultimate dream come true. That being said, right now I am going nuts. I am so anxious most of the time and I am so worried that he would not miss me and that he would find someone else to replace me. I am trying to put up a strong front so that I can leave with a good impression but its so hard- I just want to cry every time I think deep into the situation. All I can conjure up are negative thoughts- My ticket to come back to the states is in 12 hours鈥?and i am going crazy inside, I feel so scared of the future and of the unknown. Last night his mom was telling him how this weekend (after i麓m gone already) he should have a guys night out and relax with his friends. I really tried hard not to react but I failed and flipped out on him =( Just the thought of him going out and having fun laughing drinking and I am all alone in my house oceans away from him makes me so depress. He got upset with me because he never planned anything, he never said he would even go- it was only what his mom said and I jumped to conclusion. He assured me that he wouldn麓t go. I still don麓t feel better because what if he doesn麓t go this time, but what about the next time? I came to realize that I won麓t be here for all the memories anymore, the holidays-christmas for example, and I would not know whether or not he go out or not maybe he would just choose to not tell me so we won麓t fight鈥 don麓t know why I am being so controlling but this situation is out of my hands and I can麓t control anything and it is driving me crazy and i麓m a bundle of nerves- Also I heard his brother saying that this coming Friday they should all go out to lunch together with co-workers and i know for a fact that there will be one girl there. She already has a boyfriend, she is one of the co-workers鈥 know i should not even think about being jealous of her but i am!!! Why does she get to see my bf and be there with him and i麓ll be oceans away??? Life is not fair!! I know I need to keep my cool and be on my best behavior and just try to relax but it is sooooo hard. One thing for sure though is if i keep this sillyness up he will NEVER want to marry me and I will push him far away and lose him in the end. I know it is normal for him to still go on with his life here even though i麓m not physically here we are not broken up so i am still a part of his life. He can definitely still laugh and have fun without me, it does not mean he doesn麓t miss me or love me鈥ut this doesn麓t comfort me enough =( Just the thought of him going out, even if there are no girls around, scares me. It is unrealistic to think he would just go to work go home, go fishing (it is his favorite hobby), take drinks with his brother, play the ps3 and go to sleep鈥?What麓s amazing is that these are the things he told me he would do, and that he is over the partying days and he does not plan to go out to clubs or anywhere like that without me. He said he just wants to relax save money to visit me and for our future and contact me every day. It just seems too good to be true and I worry for how good it sounds鈥e gets mad that I dont seem to trust him and that i am thinking for him and thinking of what he would do when he never plan to do anything that would hurt me. im just a mess- Please help me deal with my emotions.Please help I麓m having hard time dealing with my long distance relationship.?
*gives you a hug* - that's a lot of writing, you sure seem very anxious. He seems like he is telling the truth about what hes doing. Missing him is extremly natural in your situation. What's best is to try and funnel your emotions into something productive. You could write him a very large letter telling him how you feel etc, you could make a picture book or relationship book - and send that too him.





Make sure also that if he tells you not to worry, and he loves you and will be faithful to believe him and make sure he knows that you believe him. When I say these things to my GF and she seems unsure, it makes me feel like a failure.





Trust him, believe in him, and love him. Your worries should then go away.





What you're feeling is completly natural.Please help I麓m having hard time dealing with my long distance relationship.?
You already know you're too clingy and pushy. there's really no hurry. If you back off and cares a lot for you, he'll call you. Give yourself time to know for sure what his real intentions are.
Be cool darling, i know what you going through right now. but this is not the solution, give him some space, its his life as well %26amp; he has the rights to enjoy it to the fullest.





If you try to be controlling then you may loose him 1 day, he may get frustated %26amp; break the relationship.





If he really loves you, he will have contacts with you no matter how far you are.





Trust him finally
have you ever stopped to consider....





he will miss you as much as you do him??





thought not


i am in a LDR and ts hard


especially in the early days


my advice to you is to keep busy, go out, socialize


and then you have lots to take your mind from things and lots to talk about


LDR s are hard work, but so very rewarding


you appreciate the time you do have together way more





the begining will be sad, and hard


but you have to keep faith


moaning and grumping about everything will spoil what contact you do have





best wishes
Wow! Thisw is long! I feel your pain and it is very scary. You have to talk to him! And right now. Be very honest. Even if that mean telling him you don't even know how you feel except scared. Why not copy and paste what you just wrote here. Talk to him!!! Don't regret not taling to him. Who knows...maybe he is feeling the same way. Time is ticking, so get to yapping with him privately
honestly hun u need to chill out he sounds like me the way u described him and i never cheated on my girlfriend... my girlfriend lives in california and i live in new york she goes to school out here but she goes back home for the summers and we talk EVERY day when shes away...and i do miss her alot still but we make plans to see each other..which from what i read u have also made plans to see each other in august so thats something you should look foward on... i believe you should trust him till he gives you a reason not to. :)
well from my experience i can say that I had lost a guy bec i was getting too much worried about the future and thinking things just like you. Guys dont like this kind of attitute. Even my relationship's future was not certain bec of long distance and even before we parted for the long distance relation i used to cry infront of him each time we met and he would console me and promise me that everythng will be ok. but with time i felt that i have bored him a lot due to my insecurities and i lost him!!


so the best thing to do is ... just be with the flow ...let thngs happen and just dont worry abt anythng as ';whtever has to happen, WILL happen'; !!
Heyyy So this took forever for me to read but I read it haha because I'm in the same boat. I too, am in a LDR. but my guy is only a hour away from me... not a ocean away. The thing is, if he loves you he wouldnt be doing this. He wouldnt have someone across an ocean if he didnt love her. Your worrying too much. I've done all the worrying and everything about other girls and I know what its like so dont worry about it at all. Your gonna be okay. I do the whole worrying thing on a regular basis its because you love him so much. I hope everything goes well for you and when you get to see him. I get to see mine in a few hours too. its gonna be the happiest moment ever. The whole thing about it is. Your gonna get mad and worry about him, but suspicion kills a relationship you have to trust him 100% if you want him to do the same, I mean I bet he probably worries about the same things you do. The whole point is to be calm and not over react to anything. Your gonna be okay!! =] Stay positive it helps and always always always look on the bright side of things =] Your gonna be A okay and as for the future dont worry about it I too get scared of the future the whole thing is to not think about it soooo much. Think of the now and hope for the future. Everything that happens will happen for a reason! If god puts you to it he will help you through it =] Stay postive and goodluck I hope you get everything you want out of this. =]
Hi





Raven is right I can understand how you feel as i am in my second year of my long distance relationship now and feel simular to have you descirbed. You just need to be patient and not rush things take some time to do your own things too. Me and my Bf have set days we call eachother for the evening then the rest of the week we do out own thing go out with mates etc, which means when we talk again we have more to talk about :)





I can understand your your worrys of him finding someone else i do with my bf too and honestly i know he does too. So maybe he misses you and worrys about you as you do him.





if you ever want to talk just give me a mail its also nice to have a friend you can talk to about these feelings to get them off your chest so it dont affect your relationship.





Just to note i live in the UK and my Bf lives in the netherlands.





good luck and i hope you find your way sweety x
Oh honey...





It's normal that you miss him, but you have to stop thinking so much! Go for a run, watch a movie, go shopping with girlfriends, play with your pet.. live your life! Don't burden him by making him the only one in your life to make you happy.





Instead, help your relationship by finding happiness in different places as well (friends, family, hobbies etc). When you have a positive outlook on the situation again, you'll be less suspicious and you will make it easier for him to show you that he means well. He sounds like a good guy but this way you're not really giving him a chance!





Like you said.. if you continue obsessing with him.. you end up losing him in the end.





What to do next?





Don't give in to the ';control-freak';-feelings. Don't follow his trails like Inspector Gadget.





Instead, say to him what you would say when he was sitting right next to you. Listen to your heart.. Tell him you miss him and hope he enjoys himself!!





Love conquers all!!


Best of luck,


Sam